nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
