ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
