ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm sobbing to NWA
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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