Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
