you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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