i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
