Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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