Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
