Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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