just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
