So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
