Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
