Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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