At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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