somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it đ
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
why is half of my head shaved?
Liz Cheney wasnât exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying âYAS QUEENâ for in 2021 but here we are
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