There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
