He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
