we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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