I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
