Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
