Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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