yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
