The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
