just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
