so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
