We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
