Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
