you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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