I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
