i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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