How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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