i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
