i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
