she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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