currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
