This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
