..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
