I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have already put on my inside pants.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize