There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
