He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
