Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
