saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
