i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
