YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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