He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
