YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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