the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
