someone get that fucking seahorse.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
