Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
