You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
